Sometimes we need to pay attention...

Sometimes we need to pay attention to what we read and to what we are told. It never hurts to ask for clarification because sometimes, some things, need to be clarified. 
I am not versed, to any degree, in psychology or psychological disorders. Even when I studied it in college, the course I took never did delve too deep into the various disorders. I wish it had.

I was sexually abused as a child and teen, as well as being mentally and emotionally abused by a parent. 
I have always felt things deeper, more painfully, and much longer than most people. I term myself super sensitive because I am. 
Criticism of myself by others causes me to want to run away, or sometimes, end my life. It hurts worse than any physical wound I have ever experienced. It is not that I am arrogant and think myself perfect and superior because, the fact is, I do not. I actually feel sub-par, unworthy, and pretty damned stupid most of the time. But, I lie to myself and tell myself that I am good and worthy and smart and wonderful. Truth is, I'm not and I don't believe I am for a moment.
I 'vent' the frustrations I have within myself via anger; angry outbursts, negative words and actions, conniption fits and tyrannical tantrums!
Most of the time I don't know what to do with myself.
I'm either super happy or 'God let me die right now' sad. 
What I am not is a liar. I 'own' these unexplainable, incomprehensible, unwanted aspects of my complex personality. I just wish I knew what to do with them.
I do 'deal' with them, but not always in what others would deem as constructive, positive ways. But I deal with things the only way I know how...I walk away. I remove myself from the situations and the triggers that send me spiraling downward. I sever ties with people who make me feel worse about me. 

So, in 1994 I decided that I wanted to go to college. Due to my age, and because I wasn't certain what I wanted to do, I was referred to a community center that specialized in helping older displaced people enter college and pursue majors. I saw a psychologist and was given a series of tests, aka psychological evaluations. When the results were in, I was handed a packet detailing the findings as the psychologist went over the results with me. The main thing I remember, the only thing that seemed to matter to me, were the IQ findings. They were high and that pleased me. But, I did not pay any attention to what he said concerning the psychological findings except for one word: 'Borderline'.
Well, I wasn't a psychologist then, nor am I now, so at the time I 'assumed' he meant that I was close to having a problem, but hadn't crossed the line.
I'm actually laughing now at how literal I took what he said!
All these years...
Today I ran across those old papers and as I read them I stopped and asked myself, "Have I EVER actually read every word of this???"
Apparently I have not...until today.
Well, he never said that I was 'on the border' of having a disorder. What he said was..."You have Borderline Personality Disorder"...and "Post Traumatic Stress"...and "sometimes Manic-Depressive traits".
Well, Damn! Why didn't I read this in 1994???