Being crazy is a stressful way to live, yet for those of us who are crazy, stress-filled is the only way we know how to live. Take the stress away and we become bored, get into things and eventually create catastrophic events that lead to stress...and then we are in a familiar zone and we smile because the chaos is comfortable for us.
Crazy people live in and for the moment because we know that at any given time all our moments might be taken away as that last breath leaves us...And if we've not lived crazily and wildly, taking risks as we follow dreams from deep within our beings, then we fear that our eternities will be spent regretting the 'what ifs' and the 'might have beens'.
Crazy people follow their dreams...and just because the normal, sane people tell us we shouldn't do this or that, their words only serve to fertilize that dream, pushing us harder and causing us to realize that we are on the right track, even if it is deemed 'crazy'.
Crazy people are created out of adversity and pain, out of an inability to 'fit in' with the crowds or 'normal' people, out of self preservation and the need to survive in spite of the odds.
Crazy people learn to love themselves and they learn to accept themselves as they are, without any pretenses, without any bias. Often they are shunned, neglected, overlooked, ignored, made fun of and even bullied; and because of this they learn early that sometimes the only best friend they are ever going to have is the one who stares back at them from the mirror.
Crazy people march to the beat of a drum that only fellow crazy people can hear and appreciate. They don't necessarily set out to blaze a trail for others to follow, but they do make that trail wide enough for anyone who might decide to venture down it after them.
Crazy people appreciate life. We follow our dreams. We take risks and we do our best to live a life without regrets. We endure stress brought on by hardships and it serves to make us stronger, more determined, even more resilient.
Yes, I am CRAZY and I do CRAZY things that make NO sense to others. But I live and I breath, I love and I pray. I have seen some wonderful things and I have experienced some amazing feelings, both good and bad. I've done things others have only talked about and been too cautious, maybe too scared to try...But as long as it makes sense to me, brings a smile to my face and joy to my heart... then I'll take crazy over sane ANY DAY!
Monday, March 12, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Thoughts...
We moved to Kingsland, TX 28.5 months ago and I had such high hopes at the time. I thought the schools would be great and I thought I'd find & make friends, find a good church that we could be a 'family' with, I thought Larry would be able to make it home more often...But none of that has happened. The school was a nightmare for Logan. I've only been able to make a grand total of four friends. The churches are not particularly friendly, nor very welcoming. Larry rarely gets home. And even though we are surrounded by lakes? There isn't a single good place to go to bank fish! Not one!
So, a year a go we put this place on the market after discussing it for months. We've had several offers, but financing has always stopped the sell. And now we suddenly have a cash buyer who wants to close and wants us out PRONTO! That alone scares me!
For a year we've tossed around where we would go...Before we bought this property we wanted to buy in Sanderson, but when it got time to buy there was nothing available in our price range, so we pretty much settled for this one...Well, we thought about here and we thought about there, but we just kept coming back to Sanderson.
Small town in the middle of nowhere. Small highly rated schools. Near our property. An easy drive to and from for Larry. A rail road track & mountains. And now, best of all, several homes within our price range.
Well, I am in process of writing a contract to buy a home I've wanted for a year now...and I am scared.
Am I doing the right thing? Will the school be a good fit for Logan? Will I find and make friends? Will I find a good church family? Will I be able to adapt to the distance from shopping, medical care, family back in East Texas? But more importantly, will this deal even fly???
Perhaps that is the basis for my fears...Will this deal even go through?
And then, will this house be the right one?
I've wanted to be out there since I was a child and now that the possibility is so close, you'd think I'd be excited...and yet all I feel is this FEAR!
I want to cry because it looks like we might be leaving. Not so much for myself, but for the good friends Logan has made and how much he will miss them.
So, tonight I'm praying that if this is the Will of God, that He allows everything to fall into place perfectly and everything to go smoothly and without a hitch. But if it is NOT the Will of God, that He allows it all to fall through and quickly so...because I only have 10 days till close!
So, a year a go we put this place on the market after discussing it for months. We've had several offers, but financing has always stopped the sell. And now we suddenly have a cash buyer who wants to close and wants us out PRONTO! That alone scares me!
For a year we've tossed around where we would go...Before we bought this property we wanted to buy in Sanderson, but when it got time to buy there was nothing available in our price range, so we pretty much settled for this one...Well, we thought about here and we thought about there, but we just kept coming back to Sanderson.
Small town in the middle of nowhere. Small highly rated schools. Near our property. An easy drive to and from for Larry. A rail road track & mountains. And now, best of all, several homes within our price range.
Well, I am in process of writing a contract to buy a home I've wanted for a year now...and I am scared.
Am I doing the right thing? Will the school be a good fit for Logan? Will I find and make friends? Will I find a good church family? Will I be able to adapt to the distance from shopping, medical care, family back in East Texas? But more importantly, will this deal even fly???
Perhaps that is the basis for my fears...Will this deal even go through?
And then, will this house be the right one?
I've wanted to be out there since I was a child and now that the possibility is so close, you'd think I'd be excited...and yet all I feel is this FEAR!
I want to cry because it looks like we might be leaving. Not so much for myself, but for the good friends Logan has made and how much he will miss them.
So, tonight I'm praying that if this is the Will of God, that He allows everything to fall into place perfectly and everything to go smoothly and without a hitch. But if it is NOT the Will of God, that He allows it all to fall through and quickly so...because I only have 10 days till close!
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