Herman Cain

I gotta vent...
Politics have always been boring to me. I didn't care, didn't give them a second thought...Until the last presidential election.
I hated Obama, but wasn't too awfully thrilled with McCain, either. Both seemed to me to be glory hounds, career politicians and or power seekers. Neither told me anything I cared to hear, about anything that interested me. BUT, I didn't want Obama to win because he was really throwing that race card around and courting the hispanic population, many of which were not even legal voters...though I am pretty sure those illegal voters voted and had their votes counted!
So, when he won, I wanted to vomit...and have kept that nausea ever day since!
I don't care what all the democratic folks say...Obama has done NOTHING good for the United States of America! NOTHING!!!
He's talked bad about us to other countries. He's ignored our governers, unless of course they are democrats and can further his socialist cause. He's tried to force federal regulations on states, left & right. Not because it is the will of the people, but because it is his and his cabinets will. The list goes on and on...
The sonofabitch just needs to freakin' GO!
Lately, I've been seeing and hearing about all of these people throwing their hats in the ring for the Republican nomination. Some pulled out early, thank God, but I wish a whole lot others would pull out, too!
Newt Gingrich...Are you kidding me? This man is a career politician, makes more money than God, spends more money than satan, is a womanizer who can't seem to make one marriage work, let alone two and now he's in his third...And not only that, he changed his religious beliefs and converted to Catholicism not long ago. Well, this should give pause to just about anyone with any sense...The man is apparently ADD, maybe even ADHD. Can't make his mind up, jumps from one set of bones to another, isn't sure what he believes so he changes his beliefs AFTER mid-life, charges excessively on credit cards, sticks his liberal foot in his mouth every chance he gets, and so on.
He'd be NO Better than the idjit we already have in office. Hell, he'd probably make Bill CLinton look like a school boy with his sexual escapades! Not to mention hocking the White House at Tiffany's!
And just about every other candidate stirs up the same fears, same worries, same questions, same negativity....save one.
I was raised in Texas; a descendant of MANY Southerners, a few even fought for the Confederacy back in the Civil War. Many people would have others believe that the Civil War was ALL about slavery. It wasn't. It was about the South's refusal to be controlled by the Union government. We did not think it was fair or right for the Union to dictate to our states how we should think, feel, behave, etc. We wanted the RIGHT to govern ourselves, and unfortunately slavery just happened to be a major topic in these differences.
And now look where we are!!!!
I am not a racist because I am a child of God, and God made us ALL.
I am a Christian and I am a patriotic American.
I am SICK of career politicians being elected to office, promising us all kinds of things, yet once elected, these people seek out and complete their own selfish, greed ridden agendas and the rest of the United States of America be damned!
I mean, seriously...Look at where we are at today!
So, I heard about this man from Georgia, Herman Cain, and I decided to check him out. Man, was I EVER surprised!
He's NOT a career politician. He's a southerner, he's a devout Christian, he believes and will fight for the Constitution of the United States of America. He's a businessman, having turned, not one, but two companies around that were on the verge of bankruptcy when he arrived and made them into profitable companies, both. He was diagnosed with stage IV cancer in 2006 & doctors told him he had a 30% chance of survival. He refused to give up and got a second opinion...God performed a miracle in his body and now he is cancer free and has been for several years.
He's outlined problems with the U.S. and then, he's offered detailed solutions to repairing those problems. He does not say it will be easy, nor does he promise an unrealistic, pain free healing...But for once, he is someone who offers actual, do-able, realistic means to solving our problems.
Oh...Did I mention that he is black?
Well, for those of you who take issue with this, let me throw you an idea...
Obama is not 'black'. He is bi-racial. However, Obama does enjoy throwing his 'race' card around for all to see, even while lying and saying it doesn't matter. It does...to him!
This man from Georgia is a true southern black man...and he does not like the race card!
(He also abhors the current welfare system. He can not stand dead beats who use it as a way of life. I agree with that!)
SO, I wonder...with whites headed toward becoming the minority race in the U.S., how interesting would it be to have a Southern Black man who was a devout Christian & who was super patriotic run against the liberal, lying, self serving bi-racial man who uses the race card like a shield???
I also think that the republican party will do themselves a deep injustice if they court the white career politicians with muddied backgrounds and track records that cause us to wince, and neglect this Southern Black Man who actually CAN inspire us to not only hope, but heal as a nation!
I pray for Herman Cain and I pray for you if you are leaning away from him simply due to his skin color or the stupid fact that he's never held office before. I mean, seriously? Why should that matter? Look at where the politicians have gotten us thus far...And besides, could he really do us anymore harm that Obama has already done?
And anyway, what better man to beat Obama in his run for another term of president than a TRUE black man???
Just my thoughts...

Some People...

Some people are just so childish and manipulative.
I can handle 'childish' because I am often a portrayor of that type of behavior; not to be proud of the fact, but to be honest of the flaw.
However, I do not understand, comprehend or like manipulative people. Manipulative people, in my opinion, aren't much different than Lucifer. They, like Lucifer, control others through psychological, if you will, games and deceptive practices. They will play on a person's heartstrings, find and touch (often cruelly) sensitive areas of a person's conscience, thereby gaining access to and control over the actions and feelings of that person...and for no other reason than CONTROL.
That control gives them power. Makes them feel superior. Allows them a feeling of self-righteousness with a holier-than-thou attitude.
And it angers me greatly when I see this behavior in a person...Especially one I've walked away from, turned my back on, 'un-friended', if you will.
Because I AM the better person, I apologize and take the entire blame. I want no more whining, no more guilt trips, no more 'Woe is me' song & dance, and will happily accept full responsiblity for things I'm not responsible for IF it'll bring peace & closure & shut the other person up!!!
So I say I'm the bad guy, say I did all the wrongs & the other person did all the rights, and go so far as to beg for forgiveness when in truth, I don't WANT that person's forgiveness...I just want that person to SHUT UP and LEAVE ME ALONE! But, I eat the meal of crow anyway, one black feather at a time, and when I've finally swallowed the last feather, chewed on the last bone, we both walk away happy.
The other person because 'she' made me BEG for her forgiveness, thinking she'd weakened me, proving in her mind that she was superior to me in both word and deed, and allowing her to initiate the 'cold shoulder' response as 'pay back'.
And, me...because now she's giving me the cold shoulder (YAY!!!) and no longer bombarding me with her whining and false humility.
Yet in the end, I can't help but think that perhaps I, too, played the detestable game of manipulation...

It is one thing to be lost in unfamiliar territory while wandering around in a wilderness. It is quiet another thing to be wandering around in a wilderness in a territory that is all too familiar...

Enough Running

At what point do I say, 'Enough is quiet enough'?
At what point do I admit, 'I'm tired of running'?


Though filled with wanderlust, a gypsy I am not.
I long for a home on this earth that I can grow old in, a home that I never have to leave until I die of contrariness & old age.  Where the walls have yellowed around the many pictures and the wallpaper is older than my great grandkids. Where the scents of cedar, honeysuckle, lily-of-the-valley, rose water and baby powder fill every room. Where all the trinkets and what-nots I've collected throughout my life sit quietly and prettily throughout the house, and I'll take only the memories they brought me when I finally go. Where everything has it's place, even if only I understood the place everything has. Where outside the red rose bush of my Pappaw stands as tall as the plum trees and as wide as the spread of a fifty year old live oak. Where the gardenias bloom alongside the camelias and the 4 o'clocks threaten to take over the backyard. Where hummingbirds fight like rabid dogs as honey bees steal sips of syruppy coca-cola from a forgotten can on a railing. Where song birds return yearly to raise their young and sing sweet songs of joy simply because they can. Where one night, a long time from now, I will lay in the dark in my big old bed, and I will finally lay all of these burdens at the feet of God and say, 'I truly surrender ALL!'
And at the breaking of the dawn the voice of God will whisper through Pappaw's rose bush and say, "She's done enough running. She's finally come HOME!"

Empty Houses...Analogy or Parable

I love houses.
Old houses, new houses, empty houses, occupied houses, beautiful houses, ordinary houses, even ugly houses.
I love walking through these houses, seeing the layouts of the rooms, the various architectural details from the complex to the simple bare essentials. They each have a story to tell or a story waiting to unfold, each beautiful in their own way.
I also enjoy, well, actually LOVE, looking at house plans. I even enjoy drawing them and have since I was about 12 years of age. With my pen I used words to construct a story where there was no story before and with my pencil I used lines to create houses, that in my mind, could one day be homes.
I would spend lazy summer days, rainy Saturdays and cold Sunday afternoons to create houses on paper, giving great detail to the placement of rooms and windows and doors. Looking back at those old drawings I smile at the impossibility of a few of those plans, while staring in shock at the absolute genius of others.
I never have been good at math or anything math related, therefore I never once seriously entertained a field in architecture. But I remain, all these years later, still loving houses.
These days I look at houses for sale via the internet, and I can spend hours upon hours viewing them. In the past few years, I've looked out of neccessity and true interest, but many times I look simply because I love houses.
I find myself drawn to the very modestly priced houses; not the six figure homes and above, which seems a bit wasteful considering I will never own one and wouldn't know how to furnish it if I did! No, my interest lies in those below the six figure mark because not only are they more within my reality, but also because they have better stories to tell!
Some are neglected. Some are abused. Some have been lost to a bank or mortgage company, I'm sure painfully. Others have remained while their owners have left this earth. Some were outgrown. Some were overgrown. Many just didn't get along with their residents. Others weren't in the right towns. A few were too expensive to keep due to age or condition.
But they are all beautiful...and most are empty.
Last night I decided to 'visit' an area I last visited almost twenty months ago. I'd considered it before we bought our current home, but decided against it at the last minute for reasons I'm not sure I understood then, but it turned out to be a fair decision all in all.
There were not a few houses for sale this time like there was twenty months ago. Instead, there are close to a thousand and the prices ranged from a couple at around a million, to nearly ten in the fifteen thousand dollar range, with over nine hundred in between! Some were occupied, but the majority were not. As I found my 'comfort' price, I begin seeing homes I had once thought impossible for me to own within my price range. And then I started seeing that most of these were in tiny little towns a few miles from the target city, and the more I looked, the more of these houses I found.
All were vacant...Beautiful, modest homes on pretty city lots, nice sized back yards, shade trees here and there...sitting unoccupied, unwanted, forgotten in cities that are dying.
I found myself crying...
In a nation where our homeless population continues to grow while our government and banking industries are hell-bent on greed and wasteful spending, it is utterly incomprehensible to me why thousands upon thousands of houses sit unoccupied -and hundreds of small towns are dying for lack of people and lack of viable resources. And yet, the United States government makes it a priority to fund nations that hate us and are waiting for the opportunity to not only stab us in the back, but take control of our resources AND eventually our nation as a whole.
And, WE, the American people, have allowed things to be as they are and unless something is done quickly and with the utmost haste, the nation as we know it now will only decline and eventually die.
Our bodies were created to be a home for the Almighty God. It says in scripture that our bodies are to be a temple of the Holy Ghost. Jesus stands at the door and knocks, and if we answer the door and invite Him into our 'house', He will reside there.
There are thousands upon thousands upon thousands of empty 'houses' in this world today. Some are old and worn out and in much need of repair. Some have been neglected, others have been abused. Some have been overlooked, others outgrown, others still, overgrown. A few are brand new, while others are very old, yet still in good condition. Some are fashionable, but many are outdated.
And every single one is beautiful in the eyes of God!
Every single one is Unique in it's build & personality, the lay out of its rooms, the stories it has to tell, the stories yet waiting to unfold.
Some need a lot of work, while others simply need a Resident that will love them and care for them.
Yet our denominational rules and regulations throughout the world today; our false teachers and false prophets; our 'feel good, name it claim it, greed based' ministers of callous hearts and money hungry minds; our increasingly apathetic selfish, selfserving self-righteousness and this ME based society we have allowed to saturate our world...Ignores these houses, overlooks their vacancies, turns their noses up at the imperfections and costs of restoring these once eye-appealing dwellings...And the Lord, Almighty is grieved, His heart heavy, His anger kindled.
When, Oh, When will God's People WAKE UP and OPEN THEIR EYES???
We have a Great Commission...To see that these HOUSES are READY when JESUS arrives to knock at their doors!
But we're not fullfilling our duties - and houses remain vacant, neglected, forgotten as the towns that surround them slowly die away for lack of residents, lack of viable resources.
And I find myself crying...

May the Spirit of God hit us quickly and hard so that we WILL awaken and set out to fulfill and accomplish that which His Word has commanded us to do! In Jesus Holy Name, I pray!

Lost

There are some days when I feel so totally and completely lost. I'm feeling that now. A few days ago I freely gave up my then current goal and now I'm lost without one. A part of me wants to give up, though I know that feeling will eventually pass as I've yet to give up on anything and I'm never for too long without a goal.
But for now? 
I just feel lost.
Everything around me keeps moving, yet I feel as if my world has stopped and I'm just sitting here; unnoticed, ignored, forgotten. Kinda makes me want to cry a bit, yet I know that'll do no more good than give me a splitting headache and since I already have one of those, I certainly can do without another!
Was I wrong to give up on my most current goal? No, I don't think so. There were too many unknowns, too many negative possibilities, too many certain uncertainties.
I know that faith requires we accept the unknowns and uncertainties in life, certain and knowing that our Heavenly Father will take care of us. However, I also know that our Heavenly Father expects us to use the brain He put inside our heads and sometimes, we must weigh the variables and decide if a thing is 'stepping out in Faith' or 'diving off into an empty pool of plumb stupid'!
Well, I didn't dive off into plumb stupid and I acted in Faith by giving up that goal. It was a wise decision and one that I doubt I will regret. Yet I am so empty and lost now and I am asking God, "What next?" because I don't know how to 'be still and wait upon The Lord'!
He knows that and I have no doubt this is why I am feeling what I'm feeling...But I don't like it! I don't like it one little bit!

I've got too much living to do...

My paternal grandmother had her first stroke 6 months before her 50th birthday. It left her right side paralyzed, mostly her right arm and hand. I remember sitting at the table in her kitchen, massaging and working her lifeless fingers back and forth, stretching them as far as my little 6 year old hands could manage. Withing a few months, she was able to grasp a pen and cautiously sign her name, though it was both a struggle and a chore, and her penmanship was not anything like it had been.
December 5th, 1969, she turned 50 years old. We enjoyed her through Christmas and on weekends, just glad she was alive and being my 'Nanny'.
On a Sunday in early March, she told my mother that she'd had a dream. In the dream there were black women dressed in white and they were coming for her. Nanny believed that this symbolized and possibly forewarned of her death.
March 10th, 1970 she awoke and made Pappaw breakfast and then went back to bed for a little while, knowing she was to wake up in an hour or so to get my then 15 year old Aunt off to school.
My aunt woke up to the sound of the bus in the front of the house blowing the horn. She realzed that she'd overslept and knew something was wrong because Nanny, her mother, had never let anyone oversleep. She found her mother in bed, still warm. My precious Nanny was gone and the coroner ruled she'd had a massive stroke or heart attack while she slept.
She was 50 years and 3 months and 5 days old.
And now, at 48 years of age, I am battling hypertention, and it frightens me. I have way too much living left to do and do not think kindly on a death any earlier than my 80th year! I have to keep reminding myself that my maternal grandmother was also hypertensive and lived into her 90's, never suffering a single stroke. But the difference is, Nanny was a Type A personality, with Obsessive compulsive behavior and my maternal grandmother was a Type Z personality who was so mellow and laid back, had she ever smoked marijuana it would have rendered her comatose! Unfortunately for me, I am a Type A personality with OCD!!!
Oh, how I long to be laid back, easy going and so mellow that others think I've been smoking something!!!
I pray that God HELP me. I want to LIVE a LONG life. Get my youngest son raised to adulthood. Drive all my kids crazy by being the crazy old woman I've always promised them I'd be!
I've just got too much living to do to die so early...I ain't ready yet, and won't be for another 40 years!!!

Pieces of my journey...

As I wander through this life, I have observed many things. I have experieinced many things as well; some good, some bad and a few devastatingly horrible. I have been blessed, bruised and scarred, yet not handicapped to the point that I am incapable of seeing, feeling, touching, doing, moving. I have been made weak by misfortunes, given hope by resiliency and earned strength by the exercise of rising above and beyond those misfortunes. I have learned to appreciate the least of things and ended up finding these small things really are the best.
I yearn for simplicity; in both person and life. I long for the quietness for it both calms my mind and allows me to 'hear' my Father when He speaks.
I rail and rage against injustice and have often fought to the point that my physical health has suffered. Yet in the end, my fight has proven to be on the side of right, and though my number of enemies increases from time to time, I fear them not as their injustices are a plague and I know that they will eventually reap their just fruit.
I am, and will most likely remain, an enigma to most every person who knows me; A mystery they can not solve.
This bothers me not for I do not live, nor was I created, for man.
My purpose may very well be much more complicated that that!
For who are we to question our mighty God and the things that He alone has created?
Yet if I say that God hath called me to proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ, there are numbers of those who would attempt to discount this, while offering their 'wisdom' in leading me in the 'right' direction, even if it was opposed to the direction God had set before me.
If I say that I am a prophetess, good 'Christian' people would attempt to rebuke the 'evil' spirit from me as well as explain to me 'exactly' what prophecy was, though all the while they had not a clue.
If I say that I have the gift of discernment, again, these good 'Christian' people feel it their duty to try and explain something they really do not understand, thereby creating confusion in a place that God had filled with HIS perfect peace.
Therefore, I remain silent and keep certain things to myself, away from the prying and critical eyes of others for I already know how they will react.
Yes, I am sensitive and easily hurt...and I am fearsome with the ability to cause much chaos. For every positive, there is a negative; for every negative, there is a positive. The problem lies in balancing the forces to a degree that one might benefit the world around them while keeping a strong hand on the destructive forces within and somehow finding peace with God in the midst of the constant war with self.
This life, thus far, has been a journey through a vast wilderness, and though there have been times when the journey has been discouraging, even frightening, I am learning to appreciate the least of things and enjoy the beauty of the smallest gems. While I've lived in many houses, I've yet to find my true home and I am beginning to believe that when I do find it, it will not be a part of this earth. I'm good with that!
So, until then...I will wander and I will learn and I will write...