There are some days when I feel so totally and completely lost. I'm feeling that now. A few days ago I freely gave up my then current goal and now I'm lost without one. A part of me wants to give up, though I know that feeling will eventually pass as I've yet to give up on anything and I'm never for too long without a goal.
But for now?
I just feel lost.
Everything around me keeps moving, yet I feel as if my world has stopped and I'm just sitting here; unnoticed, ignored, forgotten. Kinda makes me want to cry a bit, yet I know that'll do no more good than give me a splitting headache and since I already have one of those, I certainly can do without another!
Was I wrong to give up on my most current goal? No, I don't think so. There were too many unknowns, too many negative possibilities, too many certain uncertainties.
I know that faith requires we accept the unknowns and uncertainties in life, certain and knowing that our Heavenly Father will take care of us. However, I also know that our Heavenly Father expects us to use the brain He put inside our heads and sometimes, we must weigh the variables and decide if a thing is 'stepping out in Faith' or 'diving off into an empty pool of plumb stupid'!
Well, I didn't dive off into plumb stupid and I acted in Faith by giving up that goal. It was a wise decision and one that I doubt I will regret. Yet I am so empty and lost now and I am asking God, "What next?" because I don't know how to 'be still and wait upon The Lord'!
He knows that and I have no doubt this is why I am feeling what I'm feeling...But I don't like it! I don't like it one little bit!
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