The Wilderness...

I have wandered many places in my life, and I am sure that, God willing, I will wander many more places before I leave this earth. I once believed that the wandering was all about the destination. But, as I grow older and find myself disillusioned time after time upon reaching the destinations, I have arrived at the conclusion that the wandering is simply about the wandering!

Time after blessed time I have arrived at the destination only to discover that it was nothing like I had dreamed it would be. I would then go through a period of heartbreak and depression, blaming myself for being so naive and stupid, and praying to God to forgive my foolishness and rescue me quickly from my demise. It didn't help when family and friends would say words that further reprimanded me, speak unkindly behind my back and shake their heads as if to say, "That foolish, stupid woman has done it again!" And I would think, "Do they really think that I am so simpleminded, so intellectually lacking that I had not, have not, already discovered my folly?"

Then late one recent night another thought occurred to me...Perhaps what myself and others have perceived as 'foolishness, stupidity & folly' might actually be 'fearlessness, courage & bravery'! 
To step outside of one's comfort zone, to step away from the boring 'normal', to follow a dream simply because you can, (even if that dream evaporates moments before fruition), to see new places, meet new people, fulfill desires from deep within your own heart that no one, (maybe not even yourself), truly understands...THAT, my Friend, is akin to genius!

So, I am learning. I am beginning to 'get' it. It is NOT about the destination. The destination ONLY provides a compass point; a direction that allows me to remain focused and keeps me from getting lost in the wilderness. It allows my wanderings to not become aimless or without end, and it allows me the benefit of keeping track of which journey I might be on at any given time. 
It IS, however, all about the WANDERING, the JOURNEY within itself! And in this, I actually have found my true comfort zone...Stepping away from the boring 'normal' and immersing myself in the wandering...THAT is the dream, and it is a GOOD dream to have, a great life to live!

This is MY life...and I am happily...Wandering in a Wilderness!