There are times when I feel so utterly alone; so completely abandoned. Lately, this seems to be my existence.
Family and friends leave you, no matter the reason, and it feels as if you were on stage and everyone left the building, the lights were turned out and you are alone, locked inside with nothing to accompany you but yourself and the darkness.
Don't get me wrong. I do enjoy my solitude from time to time, but not constantly. Not habitually.
Just the knowledge that someone is in the next room sleeping as I write late at night is enough. Yet take that away and feel lost.
It would be nice to know that you were important enough to be remembered. It is devastating to realize that you aren't.
You make an effort and reach out to others in hopes of avoiding the loneliness and despair, only to alienate yourself simply by being yourself.
I hope that before I die I find both rhyme and reason to this insanity we call life, and understand it all. Then, perhaps, I can find joy and comfort in being a loner; a person who is no one's favorite anything.
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