Another day down. Thanking God for another day, but glad it's over.
I went to bed last night and prayed for an hour until I finally fell asleep. Logan had a friend over and they stayed up all night, except for a 2 hour nap, so my sleep was disturbed and I did not rest well. I woke up this morning, knowing what I needed to do...But I drank a cup of tea, ate my breakfast, took pictures of my Morning Glories and Bell Flowers while all the while second guessing myself and making excuse after excuse. I sent out a couple of texts asking for advice from family & friend, but then when I went on Facebook again, there she was. Another childish, 'look at poor pitiful me' post.
That was it. I had had enough. So, I blocked my mother from my Facebook and I hope and pray that I never have to see or speak to her again.
Perhaps I will find the strength to write my life story here. I've not written much before because I feared my mother. But I will no longer allow her to control or manipulate me by fear. People will believe what they want to believe, regardless if it is true or a complete lie. It's been this way my entire life, so it's not anything new to me to have my mother spread vindictive lies.
But for now, I'll just sit back and breath a much needed sigh of relief.
I'm 50 years old now and it's way past time for me to be getting on with my life and not have her drama to contend with.
But I do pray that God saves her soul and heals her mental illness, as well as the physical illness she's caused herself.
I do not hate her, but I certainly do not like or trust her.
No comments:
Post a Comment